Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Michael Bay diarrhea
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
