I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
