You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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