pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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