is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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