She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
