if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I came so hard my ears popped.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
