Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
