hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's the barista slut.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
