problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
