Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize