I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
