you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
