They should really pass out barf bags in church
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
