dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
