i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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