I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
