We're facebook friends in real life
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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