It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
