that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The best revenge is premature balding
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
