Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
