We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this will be a night to untag.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
