Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
