dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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