What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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