so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
