Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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