You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
