those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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