I have demons in me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
