he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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