Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So many bounce houses so little time
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
