I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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