just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
