nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
