I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
