i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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