S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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