butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
