This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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