i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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