She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Are we still banned from the library?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
