dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
