Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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