Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
