the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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