his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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