Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think I sprained my soul last night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
