So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
