I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
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by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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