are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
