i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
