So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
