I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
