I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Congratulations! We have a period
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
