I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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