Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
