Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
