you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize