theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
