her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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