come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
