If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
