thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
