My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
