he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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