How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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